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Fictionary (by Namwan)

Write a dictionary-style definition for the word EC·DYS·I·AST (pronounced eckDIZeeAST)


Use ECDYSIAST with your fictitious definition in a story. Start with: It all started when...

Ecdysiast: Someone who tends to be in the middle of being drunk and not drunk at the same time. A complicated term for "tispy".

It all started when my big brother invited me to go to a gay strip bar. It was my first time, and I was excited. It seemed like everyone knew him...all the captains and even some of the dancers on stage.

Everyone was treating my big bro like a king....why not? He provides 100 baht tips for the waiters.

Gays are friendly, and that is why I like gay pubs (not necesarrily gar bars featuring strippers). At normal gay pubs where people just sit and drink and listen to the singer on stage, everyone gives me a smile and we talk to people even though we don't know them. It's the best atmosphere ever.

When we stepped in, there were already a handful of guys wearing only their undies on the stage, with numbers attached to them. I asked my big bro why they had to have numbers. I've never been to a place like this before.

I also see two ladies who are very beautiful, but big bro says they are actually guys. I'm amazed.

Then the guys on stage got naked and had sex. Surprisingly, I was not surprised at all. I was very quiet about it, appeared very still and had no comments when my big bro asked how I felt. I thought it was something quite normal.

All the time we were drinking his Johnnie Walker black label whisky, and it usually takes a LOT of glasses to make me even a bit tipsy.

The captains were talking to me, and even told me which guys were gay and which weren't, probably to ask if I was interested in any of them. Now that was embarassing, but I continued to watch.

Then I saw this guy, number 41, on the stage. He was the best looking of them all. I asked big bro whether or not he was gay. He said no. But a waiter confirmed that he was gay.

"Nooooooo I like him!!!" I told big bro.

He smiled. "Namwan, I believe you have a high percentage of alcohol in your body right now."

"I might be an ecdysiast, but I'm not drunk," I said, smiling back at him. With that I went outside to smoke.

NOTE: This is fiction. Please remember.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP


Write a definition of the word writer so that when someone picks up the dictionary, your name comes to mind immediately.

Hmm...I still don't quite get the idea of this one. Will return to it later.

Mayonnaise, pickle, mustard, ketchup, hot peppers, relish, soysauce

Use all of these words in a piece that starts: His taste in women was...

His taste in women was delectable; As he described his ideal female to me I wasn't sure if this mouthwatering woman would even exist in a grocery store!
He said her frame would be svelte like the perfect pickle, her hair would be smooth and flowy like soysauce, her skin would be soft and supple like mayonnaise, her lips would be as red and sweet as ketchup, her personality would be spicy like mustard, her heavenly features would only get better with time like relish, and her touch would set his skin on fire like hot peppers.


TAKE THE NEXT STEP

To make Russian dressing, you mix ketchup, mayo, and relish. List three pieces of unfinished writing you can combine to come up with one new completed work. Try it!

Winning is not everything...but it sure feels good

You have received a believable-looking business-sized white envelope in the mail. The return address is from a company called Peerless. Printed on the envelope, in bright red letters, are the words "You May Have Already Won." Tell the story of what it is you may have won-or what it is you didn't win. Tell what you do with this envelope.


Start with: Life takes some funny twists and turns...

Life takes some funny twists and turns when you least expect it. Or in my case, when you're 24, broke, and bored out of your mind.

I was watching the news one morning when I got an unexpected call from an old buddy. I hadn't heard from him since my freshman year of High School and even back then we didn't talk that much. Most of the time we'd be high from smoking weed or laughing our pants off about something indecent so you can imagine how less than thrilled I was to hear what he had to say.

He said he'd been working for this new networking website called peerless.com which is basically a dating site by a company that thought a) the synonym for the word "friend" lessened the lameness reputation of online dating and b) hoped to cash in on the less than eager market participants. He also said that they had been down with successful pairs and needed to "hit the numbers" really bad since he was putting his younger brother through college (the tuition hikes have been preposterous), and made most of his livings off commissions of successful matches. Well, to cut to the chase, he said put my information in the clientele database.

With that being said I started going off at him about how nice it was of him to think of me as a spinster in the making that needed some geek's help to fulfill a happy life. I was inflamed. I was heated. I could barely hear him on the other side trying to explain.

Wait.

Huh?

I heard the words "prize" and "Hawaii"

My brain is back.

He explained that to draw in more clients, every month the company drew a man and a woman's name for a free three day trip to Hawaii and this month I had won!


OMG I was so excited.

He continued to say that there should be a white envelope in my trashcan somewhere.

Uh-oh.

I quickly did a mental rewind of the activities I did for the past few days. I had just come back from visiting my cousins to a sizable amount of mail and luckily hadn't bothered to sort them out yet.

So anyway he said that my plane leaves tonight and if I wanted to go I'd have to pack immediately, meet him at the office by 2 to get all the paperworks done, and be at the airport by 6.


I said no problemo, dude. Hawaii here I come!

I quickly found the white envelope with the a return address from peerless

I tear it open and to my horror found out that I would be staying in Honolulu.
What's what's wrong with Honolulu? My loathsome ex-boyfriend lives there and after the horrible and humiliating breakup, I had sworn to knife him if I ever saw him again.

I threw the envelope in the trash.

I glanced in the trash can again.
There printed neatly in bright red letters on it read "You May Have Already Won"


Hmm..

The next morning I awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and the captain announcing that we will be landing in Honolulu in two hours.

I looked out the window to see the bright blue waters. The sun shone nicely and I felt more relaxed than I had in days.

We finally landed and since I only had my carry on I had a few minutes to spare before the hotel bus leaves so I told the driver I was going to grab a magazine at the newspaper stand and that I'll be right back.

I was rummaging through the stacks trying to decided whether I wanted to read Cosmo, Elle, or Harper's Bazaar when a screaming child came running down the terminal. Everyone looked and so did I.


The boy belonged to a young girl with bleached blonde hair, enormous boobs, and an obvious fake tan who screamed back at the boy when she caught up with him. Another guy followed them with another baby in his arms.
It was my ex-boyfriend.

He had gained a few pounds, looks tired from all the partying he did in his earlier years, and I'm sure parenting hasn't lifted up his spirits.

I glanced back at the stack of magazines and realized I already had my morning entertainment for the day.

I turned around and ran into someone. He was tall, muscular, and had the face of Enrique Iglesias.

The good-looking guy introduced himself as Josh and apparently he is the male winner for the trip.
He pointed across the terminal to a happy looking peerless employee who pointed me out to him and explained that he just wanted to come over to say hi. He had the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen.

Yes, I think I may have already won.


TAKE THE NEXT STEP

You've just arrived at a two week writing retreat that you won. Write a note home listing all you plan to accomplish.

1. Work on my old writings.
2. Learn new words.
3. Write a short fictional story about a retreat inspired by this trip.
4. Exercise more.
5. Eat healthy.

You may have already won

You have received a believable-looking business-sized white envelope in the mail. The return address is from a company called Peerless. Printed on the envelope, in bright red letters, are the words "You May Have Already Won." Tell the story of what it is you may have won-or what it is you didn't win. Tell what you do with this envelope.


Start with: Life takes some funny twists and turns...


Life takes some finny twists and turns, and that is what has happened to me throughout my entire life; thus I am not not surprised when I received an letter saying that I have already won "something". I thought it was one of those scams that you receive a lot in e-mails; ones that say you already won something but you know that it's fake. I don't really know how the scam works because I always delete these e-mails even before reading it.

But the thing that really surprised me - I think it was the most surprising thing in my entire life, was that the sender did not write down his name (I suppose he works at the company, but I wonder why he or she would send a letter using a company envelope?). I googles the company but did not find anything about it.

The content of the letter was beyond surprising. Quite simply, the sender wrote that I may have already accomplished my goal. He or she did not even say what my goal was, leaving me to think really hard about it, but he or she was glad that I am now what he/she wants me to be, and that he's very proud of me. He/she told me to keep up the good work, and do whatever I believe in that makes me happy.

I was confused, surprised, proud, happy and frustrated all at the same time. There are not many times in my life in which I have so  many mixed emotions like this.

I would have liked to send a letter back, but there was no company address. Maybe the letter was the best gift I have ever had; it has been one of the strongest motivators for me ever since I received it.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP


You've just arrived at a two week writing retreat that you won. Write a note home listing all you plan to accomplish.


1. To go back to previous writings in this book and write more about each entry.
2. To write about my life in the most beautiful way.
3. To write an article based on my opinion of Thailand's industrial sector. Just for fun.
4. To write a funny article based on a real life story, but with lots of tweaks.
5. To finish reading "The King Never Smiles" and write a critical article on it, including the good and bad parts of the book, and what I think of the book in general. I will write about what I agree and disagree about it.
6. To write something in Thai. Anything. I haven't been writing serious things in Thai for a loooong long time.
7. To write about the types of questions I could ask Siri that are creative.

Very short story. (I'm a newb)

Finish the story. Start with: Back in 1938, before...

Back in 1938, before one of the largest economic downturns in history, I was happy.

I was born to a wealthy businessman who made an exorbitant about of money in the Oil business and lived in a large estate in the New England suburbs with maids enough to nurse a small school.
Most of my afternoons were spent playing outside in the garden with the grass beneath me and the sun above me. I would have new books and toys brought to me everyweek. I had no care in the world.
On weekends my mother would bring me to the farm south of our estate to watch the horses and ponies run.
She would then sing lullabys to me gently while I fall asleep on her lap.
On occasions we would go into town to check out the new stores. My parents always relished the thought of lavishing me with gifts.

But it was not long before my blissful life came to a halt.

One cloudy day in June I woke up with a dreadful feeling. The birds outside my windows were not chirping. In fact, they were no where to be seen and the house was dead silent.

I got up, put my robes on, and headed downstairs. I was far too curious to bother getting dressed properly. Had I known what I know now, I never would have left my room...



TAKE THE NEXT STEP
If there are 1,938 reasons NOT to write, name one reason TO write that outweighs them all:

I adore writing.  I have a lot to say and a lot to share.

To me, my work is as relevant as a dish is to a chef; I want others to enjoy it and I want to be proud of it.